Hetalia Holiday Collection
by BirdSpell
Summary: A series of seasonal oneshots for a variety of holidays, Hetalia style. Multiple pairings and ratings Happy holidays!
1. 2014: Halloween

**Mayonaka no Kitsune**

**Warnings: Dark!Prankster!ChuNi, mythological horror, kitsune, Boss!China, Henchman!Japan, Halloween scare contest**

**Rating: T**

**Characters: China, Japan, various others**

**Categories: Horror, supernatural, some humor**

**Word count: 2,276**

**AN: Hey, everyone~! Welcome to my Hetalia holiday collection! It's basically exactly what it sounds like: a bunch of oneshots about various holidays. Only ones I personally celebrate, though, as I'm not comfortable with attempting celebrations I don't know much about. First up is Halloween, obviously, so enjoy~! Fair warning, though, I wrote this during a sleepover on about two hours of sleep, so I don't know how coherent it is.**

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_Silly nations… They think they can beat me? Of course they can't. They don't even know who I am~!_

_Fufufu… Good luck~!_

Halloween.

Quite possibly the most disturbing holiday the West had ever thought of. After all, dressing up as monsters in order to get candy? Very strange.

Japan had never understood the concept. Weren't you supposed to fear monsters? And yet even America, who was terrified of ghosts, enjoyed the event. It just didn't make sense!

And yet here he was, wearing a ridiculous fake tail and fox ears.

Yes, he'd dressed up as a kitsune. It was the first thing that came to mind! As for why he was here? America had threatened him.

Well, not exactly. He'd shown up at Japan's house and told him he _would_ be coming to the Halloween party this year, yes he would, and refusal would _not_ be accepted, so when would he get to Washington? All with a smile on his face saying 'do as I say or else'.

Some hero.

So here he was, sitting in a corner with the single bottle of sake he'd managed to get through airport security, waiting for Germany and Italy to arrive, trying to find a position that didn't trap the tail awkwardly beneath him.

Ah, well. Japan absently reached into one of the deep pockets of his kimono and touched the mask he'd slipped into it on his way out the door, along with his precious steel fan; and his katana, of course, which was hidden among the folds of his clothes. He rarely went to any other country without it. Call it paranoia, but it had become a habit over the years.

"Having fun~aru?"

Japan glanced over at his elder brother, who, it appeared, hadn't bothered with a costume, wearing the same robes the black-haired nation remembered him wearing when they'd both been much younger. "Really? At least I made an effort."

China laughed, sitting next to him and handing him a bottle. "Thought you might want this. That sake won't last forever~aru."

Japan hummed his thanks, pouring two glasses for them. "I don't like this sort of thing…"

"You're so shy~aru," China teased. "C'mon, it's not that bad."

The younger nation sighed, running one hand through his hair, the other slipping down to brush against his precious katana's hilt. China caught the motion and smiled knowingly. "Do you ever _not_ bring that thing with you~aru?"

"Usually. It's extra security. But at least I'm wearing a costume…"

"So am I~aru! But," he added, looking Japan's costume up and down, "yours is very nice." He touched the ears lightly. Japan blushed.

"Arigato."

"Hey, dudes!" America flopped down beside them, grinning. He appeared to be dressed as a cowboy, but… Japan could never be sure with him. "Nice costumes!"

The two Asian nations murmured soft thanks and attempted to go back to their conversation. America, however, was having none of it. "C'mon you guys, I invited you to _party_, not sit in a corner and mutter like old men all night!"

It was then, just as China was opening his mouth to retort to that (most likely with something along the lines of 'we are old men'), the lights went dead. Several nations yelped, asking what was happening, if this was planned.

There was the sound of breaking glass down one of the dark halls. America squeaked, ducking behind China. "Was that a gh-ghost?!"

"Don't be silly~aru," the older nation chided. "Ghosts aren't real. Demons, however," he added mischievously when America seemed to relax, "are very real~aru."

"EEEEK! I don't want to dieeee!"

"Calm down, America-san. Demons aren't real." Japan walked towards the hallway the sound had come from. "Something just fell off a shelf somewhere, I'm sure. I'll go check." His left hand went to his sword hilt as he moved into the darker area and vanished from sight.

China turned to grin at the others. "Ah, there's nothing to be worried about~aru! Japan-di will be-"

He was cut off by a sharp _thud_ and a startled yelp. The older nation frowned. "What happened, Japan-di~aru? Did you trip over something?"

No answer. China couldn't help the flash of fear that crossed his mind. "Japan-di?"

"Yes," came the response. "It was just a plate. Nothing to worry about, like I said."

America sighed, running over to wrap an arm around the smaller nation's shoulders as he stepped back into the main room, better lit now, as England and France set about lighting some candles. "Dude, why didn't you reply? We were worried!"

Japan's response was lost as China frowned. Something was different- "Oh no."

"What is it?" England asked.

"Japan's costume~aru," China murmured. "What color were the ears and tail?"

"Red. Why?"

"Because now they're gold."

England looked at the 'costume'. "Oh no. Wasn't there a Japanese myth…?"

"Kitsune~aru," China whispered, eyes widening. "America, come here. Now~aru!"

"Uh, okay…" The younger nation began to move toward them-

"_Fu…fu…fu…_" 'Japan' lifted a hand to cover his mouth. "_Fufufu…_ You can't _leave_… I mean, why would you _want_ to?" He looked up through his long lashes, eyes going wider than China had seen in a long time. "Y-you wouldn't leave me all _alone_, would you?" America gulped.

"Well, no… Of course I wouldn't-"

China interrupted. "Yes, we are going to leave it alone~aru. America, that's not Japan-di! It's a kitsune!"

The creature pretending to be his little brother pouted. "Awww… you guessed. _Fufufu_- At least I don't have to use this form anymore…" Another tail slid from the kitsune's back, then another, and another-

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Not just a kitsune, then. An old one. Very old. Yao stepped forward, shifting into a fighting stance. "What did you do with Japan-di?"

The kitsune laughed again. "I didn't kill him, if that's what you're worried about. I just… got him out of the way. He's fine, I'm sure." Here the creature smiled, revealing sharp teeth that looked _wrong_ on Japan's face. "He's not the one you should be worried about anyway." Its nails grew long and sharp and it lunged, scraping the claws along America's side; not enough to even break the skin, but enough to hurt, and the shock of this… _creature_ attacking him with Japan's face was horrifying.

The kitsune smiled wickedly, brushing claws along China's jawline. "Fun, isn't it, _China-nii_? I can practically _taste_ their fear… _Fufufu_…"

"Only one person," China hissed, "is allowed to call me that. And it sure as hell isn't you~aru!"

"You sure about that~?" As the nations watched, the tails disappeared one by one, and the kitsune's face returned to that of a human, of Japan, of _Kiku_, his baby brother- "Are you absolutely _sure_?" He leaned forward, pressing against China's chest, sweet and delicate, like Japan used to when he was a child. "I could be such a _good brother_," the kitsune purred. "Better than _he_ ever was. I promise~! _Fufufufu_~"

China growled and went to punch the little bastard in the face. But suddenly he was gone, and in his place was a golden fox, nine tails waving cheerily behind it. Its tails flickered in the direction of the hallway and it trotted off. The older nation frowned and followed. America yelped. "Dude, don't follow it!"

"I have to follow it~aru. If it did something to Japan-di, I have to find out!"

England and France glanced at each other, then nodded in agreement. "He's right. If you'd been captured by a crazy Japanese spirit I'd do the same."

"_Oui_, if a crazy spirit captured Mathieu, I would do the same as well."

America gulped. "But… haven't you watched the horror movies?! Following the demon is _never_ a good idea!"

China simply shrugged, walking after the kitsune (which was technically not a demon). All nine of its tails wagged happily as it led the way, through the dark halls to a room none of them cared to enter: the torture chamber (what? Getting rid of it would've been expensive. And just because it was there didn't mean it was ever used).

They all shared awkward glances. While each nation had at least one torture chamber somewhere that they had access to, it was never a pleasant experience. The kitsune paused by the door, looking up at them expectantly. When no one moved, it rolled its eyes—was it even possible for a fox to do that?—and transformed once more, this time with a mask covering its face. "What?" it giggled when they stared at it. "I don't want you knowing what I _really_ look like, _fufufu_."

It tugged open the door and stepped in, leaving the wood propped open. "Well? Are you coming?"

They followed; what else could they do?

The kitsune had made itself comfortable on a steel table that still bore traces of bloodstains. It had pulled a knife from somewhere in its kimono and was fiddling with it happily. "So, this room. Not a nice place. I don't like it."

"Then why bring us here, dude?!" America whined. "Why not take us out to McDonald's or- or something?"

"Ambience," the creature explained. "It makes you more uncomfortable being in a place like this. Besides, I don't like large groups of people."

"A shy kitsune~aru?" China asked. "Never heard that one before."

It shrugged, putting the knife away, nails lengthening into claws once more. "I'm sure you want to know why you're here?"

"Well, yeah," England muttered. "And what have you done with Japan?"

"Here we go again with the Japan thing. I told you, he's fine."

"Forgive us for not believing you. Why are we here?"

"Isn't it obvious~?" The kitsune moved forward, nuzzling at the Brit's neck. "So I can have some fun. And I couldn't have Japan-san interfering, now could I?"

It let its claws trail along the veins in Arthur's neck, then backing away to wander over to France. One tail swept up to brush against his cheek, the other eight flickering into flames that didn't burn. "He wouldn't like what I was doing… so I had to tie him up, keep him out of my way. You know how it is~!"

America jumped forward. "Enough! Where's Japan?"

"Safe. That's all you need to know-" It was cut off by a loud crack as America's fist hit its mask. It staggered back, whining, cradling its face as the damaged mask clattered on the floor. The kitsune changed forms again. The fox growled, and leapt.

It caught Alfred's wrist in its jaws and shook hard. The crack of bone was clearly audible throughout the room, and England fired off a quick spell as the creature fled. There was a high yelp, then nothing.

China looked around. "Is that it?"

"I guess so. Let's find Japan."

Just then there was a muffled cry from one of the closets against the wall. The four nations in the room shared a glance and ran to open the door. Japan tumbled out, muffled complaints spilling from under the gag hiding his mouth. China undid it.

"You see? This is why I do not celebrate Halloween."

China smiled. "It could've been a lot worse~aru."

"That is true," France remarked. "Now, how about some wine to celebrate?"

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Kiku yawned as he entered the room he and Yao shared, suppressing a wince. His shoulder hurt where England had caught him with a spell, and his bloodied nose stung from getting punched in the face. He whimpered, curling up on the bed with his hands over his face.

"Kiku-di?" Yao sat beside him on the bed, the younger nation shifting to rest his head on the elder's lap. "Are you all right?"

He nodded slightly. "Hurts. But I'm fine."

Yao gently picked up a damp cloth that had been soaking in a bowl, pushing Kiku's hands out of the way and beginning to wipe away the blood. "Did Opium catch you with that spell~aru?"

"Mmhmm." Kiku whined as Yao began to clean the wound on his shoulder where the spell had hit him. "But it was worth it to see the looks on their faces. Prussia-san did a good job with the lights and the plate; we'll have to thank him later."

"And I bet we won that little game England and America play. I mean, that's gotta be the best Halloween prank ever~aru!"

Kiku hummed in agreement. "But I wish I'd gotten to play with them a little longer."

Yao chuckled, scratching between his lover's ears. One tail twitched happily at the attention, and Kiku sat up to curl against his chest. "You're warm," he murmured, eyes flickering shut. "…'m sleepy…"

"Sleep then~aru," Yao offered, curling the tails around so they weren't trapped between the two nations.

The kitsune obeyed his suggestion instantly.

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**I don't know what I just wrote. But Kitsune Kiku is either adorable or terrifying. Or both. I'm really really tired right now, so I'll cut this short: next up is Christmas, if you've got any suggestions let me know, don't forget to review.**

**Happy Halloween~!**

**-Bird**


	2. 2014: Christmas

**Title: Mistletoe  
>Warnings: ChuNi fluffiness, Wingman!Prussia, Sneaky!China, Sneakier!Japan, Prupan bromance, Ceiling Japan, OOCness abounds.<br>Rating: K+  
>Characters: China, Japan, Prussia<br>Categories: Romance, Humour**

**Happy Christmas, everyone! Welcome to my Christmas oneshot with ChuNi and mistletoe and much sneakiness. Also G8 being… very strange people indeed.**

**I think someone spiked the eggnog.**

**I don't own Hetalia. I absolutely don't own Christmas. Pity, that.**

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December 25th.

One of the nicest and also most irritating days of the year.

On the nice side, it was Christmas. Presents and parties and often cake, because America had a thing about cake.

On the irritating side…

Japan sidestepped another piece of mistletoe dangling from the ceiling. "Who put that one there?" he muttered. "It's either Yong-Soo-san or Yao-ge… I suppose it doesn't matter either way." He sighed, entering the meeting room. "A meeting on Christmas Day, too… I'm not Christian, but I can understand the unwillingness."

"Keeks!" Alfred tackle-hugged him. "Merry Christmas, dude! Did you bring presents?"

"Hello, America-san. No I didn't, and please stop touching me."

"Aw, you're no fun!" the younger nation whined.

"If Japan wants you to leave him alone, then do it. Bloody Yankee," England called from across the room. America shrugged and wandered off.

"Arigato, England-san."

"No problem."

"Kiku-di!" Yao pretty much ran the smaller nation over in his rush to get into the room. "I know I'm not part of the G8, but please let me hide out here~aru! Yong-Soo's being a pain again."

"That… isn't really my problem, but okay…"

Germany sighed. "You can wait in that room over there, then. Japan, you can't let people into these meetings!"

"Sorry!"

"Chill, West!" Prussia added. "It's not a big deal!"

"Why is he here?" America asked.

"I am simultaneously part of Germany and New Prussia in Canada, therefore I'm part of the G8 twice over."

"Fair enough," Germany sighed, "just don't interrupt."

"Sure!"

"Well, let's get started-"

"Dude, do we have to? It's Christmas!"

"It's not Christmas in my home," Russia said, "but I wouldn't mind a day off."

"Germany, Japan, let's take a day off and eat pasta!"

Romano slapped his brother upside the head. "Shut up, idiot! No one cares about what you want to do with the macho potato and the ninja bastard!"

France frowned. "Speaking of ninjas, where has Japan gone?"

"Hey, he looks like Mattie now!"

"Shut up, Al."

Japan, perched in the ceiling beams, sighed. "Damn, they noticed I was gone…" He dropped down while they were distracted. "I'm right here."

"Oh, hey dude!"

Japan turned to Germany. "Germany-san, I do not think we will be able to accomplish anything today. Perhaps we should just have the meeting tomorrow?"

"You too, Japan? Fine. Meeting adjourned."

"Yay~!"

"Sweet! You guys are coming to my Xmas party, right?"

"Of course!"

"Sure."

"Fine."

"Oui."

America turned to Japan. "You're coming too, right? It won't be the same without you…"

"…I'll think about it."

"Okay!"

Prussia shot him a look. Japan raised an eyebrow in response and went over to let China out of the closet Germany had—unknowingly, surely—sent him to wait in, jumping back just in time to dodge the piece of mistletoe hanging above the frame. "I _knew_ it was you hanging those everywhere!"

"Come on, Kiku-di~aru!" China whined. "It's been ages, and we barely get to see each other, and-"

"If you really want him under the mistletoe, you're going to have to either be a lot sneakier, or wait until he allows it," Prussia called. The Asian nations stared at him for a moment, until he flushed faintly and turned away. "Just saying."

Japan sighed. "Alright, that is true. Honestly, China-nii, you should know better than to try something like that… We have been… together… for quite a while…" he finished, blushing.

"Yeah, but still~aru!"

Kiku sighed.

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"Hey, Japan?"

"Yes, Prussia?"

The white haired nation frowned at him. "What are you plotting?"

"I am not plotting anything."

"_Suuure_ you're not."

Japan shot him a look. "Honestly, Prussia, I am not _plotting_."

"Yes you are. You've got that 'I'm gonna do something sneaky and ninja-like' look."

The older nation blinked. "I have a look? Well, you're wrong-" He stopped to duck around another piece of mistletoe, pulling it down and sticking it in his pocket. "-as I have no plots in mind whatsoever."

"Uh huh."

Japan glared at him. "Honestly, Prussia."

Prussia snickered. "Are you going to ambush China with mistletoe now?"

"…I'm considering it."

"That's a yes, then." He wrapped an arm cheerfully around Japan's shoulders. "Hey, what were you doing in the ceiling beams during the meeting, anyways? Tell me you weren't trying to harpoon Russia again…"

"That was one time!" the smaller nation protested. "And besides, he deserved it. I was planning on ambushing China-nii, actually."

"Well, _that's_ not out of character in the slightest."

"Shut up."

Prussia laughed. "Need a hand?"

Japan smiled.

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China yawned, wandering down the hall, still plotting how to get his brother/lover under the mistletoe with him before morning. He was so tired he kept walking into the walls, and he was fifty percent sure someone had spiked at least one of his drinks before he'd left the Christmas party, from which Prussia and Japan had been noticeably absent.

Someone coughed behind him. China turned. Prussia grinned, pointing up. Then he turned around and wandered off.

"That was weird~aru…" Yao glanced up at the doorframe he was currently standing under, allowing his tired eyes to wander over the plain wood with a little plant sprig dangling from it-

Wait, what?

A soft laugh echoed from behind him. Yao turned around again, giving his lover a Look. Kiku shrugged. "I did say you had to wait until I was ready…"

"And now you are~aru?"

"Mmhmm." Kiku strolled a little closer, smiling shyly.

The Chinese laughed softly. "Always have to get the last word, don't you~aru?" He wrapped his arms around Kiku's waist.

"Always," the younger breathed, hands resting on the elder's shoulders. He leaned up and pressed their lips together, smiling into the kiss.

Cunning little brat.

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**I told you, someone spiked the eggnog. (I don't even know anymore…)**

**Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good holiday!**

**Up next: New Years and spin the bottle. What could possibly go wrong?**

**Also, since it is spin the bottle… The characters are Japan, China, South Korea, Norway, England, France, Prussia, Iceland, Turkey, Russia, Germany, Italy, and America. So what pairings do you want to see?**

**See ya~!**

**-Bird**


	3. 2014: New Years

**New Years  
>Title: Chance<br>Warnings: Various pairings, spin the bottle, Shy!Japan, Protective!Big brothers, sort of incest, awkwardness  
>Rating: T<br>Categories: Romance, Humour**

**I wanted to write a game of spin the bottle, okay? Also, first time writing South Korea, so I probably failed. Well, at least I've had practice with the others… Enjoy anyway.**

**So spin the bottle. Also known as how many people can BirdSpell ship in the space of one story.**

**I own nada.**

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It was a truly terrible idea. And that was understating it.

Well, they'd all agreed, however unwillingly, when America suggested this harebrained scheme. So now Japan, China, South Korea, Norway, England, France, Prussia, Iceland, Turkey, Russia, Germany, Italy, and America himself were sitting in a circle, staring at the bottle in the centre.

"…You know," Prussia muttered, "we should have invited the girls."

"No," Russia insisted quickly. "This will be more fun!"

"Fun?" Japan muttered to China, who was sitting beside him. "He does know what we're about to play, right?"

Yao shrugged.

Korea, settled on his other side, grinned. "I think it'll be fun! C'mon, this is a great game!"

"I don't think this is a game," Norway decided absently. "More of a disaster waiting to happen, in fact."

Iceland and England nodded in agreement. Germany sighed. "Let's just get this over with."

"Yeah!" Italy agreed. "C'mon, let's play!"

"I agree with Italy," France hummed.

"Okay, dudes!" America yelled. "I'll go first, because I'm the hero!"

He grabbed the bottle and spun it; it wobbled in an uneven half circle and ended up next to Iceland, pointing at France. Well, more or less.

"Nice spin," Turkey commented. There were several quiet laughs.

France wiggled his eyebrows. "Well?"

"Hold on," England interjected. "Before we continue, shouldn't we go over the rules?"

"But of course, mon cher," France agreed. "The first time you're paired with someone, it's just lips. The second time, you use tongue. The third time… well, I assume you can guess~!"

England facepalmed. "Thank you for making that more awkward than it needed to be. You may continue."

"Thank you." France stared at America for a second; when the younger blond didn't move, he sighed and stood, walking across the centre of the circle to settle in front of the other and press their lips together. He then stood again with a wink and returned to his spot. America hummed.

"Huh."

Iceland rolled his eyes, pushing the bottle back into the centre. France took it and spun it with a neat flourish. The bottle spun quickly, making three complete circles before coming to rest on Turkey. The other shrugged and leaned forward. They were only separated by Iceland, so it wasn't that far. And the placement gave everyone else in the circle an excellent view of the rather amusing expression on the Icelandic boy's face at the elder two kissing directly in front of him.

They pulled apart after a couple seconds, and Turkey grabbed the bottle and spun it without any preamble. It turned in a complete circle and landed on Iceland, just barely missing making exactly one circuit. The silver haired nation shrugged.

"Well, could be worse." He leaned forward and gave Turkey a quick peck, pulling away in exactly half a second.

"Could definitely be worse," Turkey agreed cheerily, shooting Norway a pleased look for good measure. The Nordic made a sound halfway between a hiss and a growl, and England, sitting next to him, shifted away.

Iceland sighed. "I guess it's my turn?" He spun the bottle. It made two and a quarter spins, and ended up facing Prussia. "Wha- No!" he complained. "You have _got_ to be kidding me!"

Prussia laughed. "You gotta do it!"

"He's right," England admitted. "You do have to do it."

"But- Agh!" Iceland leaned forward. When Prussia did the same, he pressed their lips together for even less time than he had with Turkey before jerking away, wiping his lips exaggeratedly.

Prussia didn't seem bothered by the youngest Nordic's obvious displeasure at the kiss, instead looking around the circle as if trying to decide who to aim at before spinning the bottle. It wobbled madly, but managed to get almost a full circle before stopping on Germany.

"Oh, come on!" he complained. "I can redo it, right? If it's incest I can redo it."

"No," England replied. "Whoever it lands on, that's the rule. Get on with it."

The brothers shot each other awkward looks before kissing briefly. Prussia whistled uncomfortably. Germany devoted far more attention than was necessary to spinning the bottle, which again made just under a full circle and landed on Italy.

"Yay~! I was willing it to stop on me, you know!"

"Ja, ja…" Germany sighed, motioning for the Italian to lean over. Italy did so, and pretty much kidnapped Germany's face for a good ten seconds. Japan, across the circle, stared at them with a curious mixture of embarrassed bafflement and intense interest, one eyebrow raised.

Eventually, Germany pulled away, and Italy twirled the bottle. It was a bit better than America's, traveling one full loop and about a third, coming to rest on Norway, who frowned. Italy scooted back slightly.

The Norwegian sighed. "Let's just get this over with." He leaned forward slightly. Italy scooted across the circle to perch in front of him. The pair barely brushed lips before Norway jerked back, Italy reacting accordingly and returning to his place in the circle.

"I suppose it's my turn," the blond muttered irritably, flicking the bottle back into motion. It landed on Japan, who blushed.

(Norway, it has to be said, looked about as pleased as he ever did.)

The Japanese didn't bother standing; he scooted across the circle on his knees and settled in front of Norway, hands folded in his lap, looking away. The Norwegian sighed, grabbed the smaller nation's chin, and kissed him quickly. Japan went very pink and returned to his place, determinedly not looking at anyone as he copied Germany and focused absurdly hard on giving the bottle a very smooth turn. It spun, not slowing or wobbling, for at least thirty seconds before landing on Russia.

"…" Japan stared at the bottle, making everyone else a little uncomfortable. "…I'm doing that again," he said eventually.

"Kiku-di, you can't redo it just because you get someone you don't like~aru!" China complained. "Suck it up!"

Japan wrinkled his nose, looking almost sulky. "…Fine." He made no effort to move, instead letting Russia make his way around the circle. The kiss itself was incredibly quick; most people couldn't tell if they'd actually kissed, although Russia's cheerful smile and Japan's faintly disgusted and horrified expression indicated they had.

The tall blond took the bottle and spun it without a word, humming happily. It landed on America.

"Oh, _hell_ no!" he protested. "I'm _not_ kissing _him_!"

Japan shot the American a Look that said something along the lines of 'If I had to, you have to, now kiss him before I beat you into the floorboards.'

…Heavily paraphrased, of course.

America groaned. "Fine, fine. But I'm not gonna like it."

"You don't have to like it," England pointed out. "You just have to do it."

Russia smiled creepily, leaning over to kiss the other blond. America shuddered, pulling away almost instantly. "Dude, gross." He spun the bottle. It wobbled wildly, ending up next to England, pointing at South Korea.

"Cool!" he decided. "C'mon, America! Let's do this!" He didn't give the blond time to reply, instead crawling across the circle to kiss him and crawling back again. The bottle was spinning again before anyone could react, landing on China.

Japan let out a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. "You know, and this is just a thought, I don't think any of us are nearly drunk enough for this game."

Germany stared at him. "You're asking for alcohol? That's rare."

"Shut up," Japan muttered, blushing.

South Korea shrugged. "Maybe we can find some sake or something afterwards, but first…" He shot China a rather lecherous grin.

"Oh, fine~aru! Let's get this over with!" He leaned forward and kissed his younger brother quickly, pulling away as fast as he could, sending a rather complaining look towards Japan, who shrugged and gestured towards the bottle. China spun it quickly, watching it turn around and land on England. "Great~aru," he groaned.

"Oh, stop your whinging and get over here."

"I'm older, you can come here~aru."

"Why don't you both go halfway?" France suggested. There was a general chorus of agreement, along with several calls of 'Get on with it!'

South Korea and America ended up shoving the two of them into the circle and holding their heads together until they kissed. The catcalls were very amusing.

England straightened his tie, coughed, and spun the bottle much harder than was actually necessary. It landed on Japan, who shrugged magnanimously, apparently resigned to his fate of kissing people. China was a bit less tolerant.

"Oh, hell no~aru! You are _not_ kissing _him_!"

"Calm down, Yao-ge," Japan chastised. "It's just a game." He turned to England and raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

The Englishman smirked at China and crossed the circle, sitting in front of Japan. China snorted, glaring unnervingly. Japan sighed. "Yao-ge, please." He leaned forward and gave the blond a quick peck on the lips. England grinned cheerfully, returning to his place as Japan spun the bottle just as neatly as his first turn. It landed on France, and China groaned.

"You've got to be kidding me~aru!"

"Ohonhonhon! Well, Japon?"

Japan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "All right." Again, he didn't bother with getting up; he scooted across the circle on his knees to kneel in front of France, waiting. The blond smirked seductively and leaned in, pressing their lips together easily. The Japanese blushed, pulling back and returning to his place, staring at his hands.

France took the bottle and spun it. The glass turned gracefully, catching the light as it spun quickly and stopped on Japan again. He frowned. "Should I redo that, or…?"

Germany shook his head. "Whoever you land on, unless it's yourself. That's the rule."

America snickered. "And remember, since it's your second time-"

"We know, America-san," Japan interrupted, blushing.

Neither of them made an effort to move. After a minute France coughed, crossing the circle to crouch in front of the smaller nation. They shifted awkwardly for a minute, then Japan tilted his head up and pressed their lips together. After a moment, he went white, then very, *very* red. The two of them pulled apart, panting slightly.

Japan coughed, rubbing his cheeks as if he could wipe the blush away, and spun the bottle. It made a full circle and stopped on China, who smirked.

Japan sighed. "Alright, then…" He leaned forward, and China pressed their lips together cheerily, then grabbed the bottle and spun it, smiling at Japan.

It landed on England. Again.

"No," China decided. "I am _not_ kissing him again."

"C'mon, China!"

"Yao-ge…"

"No!" China stood. "I'm done~aru. I've got other things to do."

"But-"

England shook his head. "If he wants to quit, let him. The rest of us can continue."

"Oh! I'm sorry, but I just remembered," Japan murmured. "I've got some… papers I need to sign and such; I have to go." He stood, following China out of the room.

Germany sighed. "Bruder, we have a meeting soon; time for us to leave too."

"Aw, West!" Prussia complained, getting to his feet. The two left the room, followed quickly by Italy.

Iceland sighed. "I've got to feed Mister Puffin, or he'll start being annoying." He left as well, followed quickly by Norway. The two of them started an argument on their way down the hall.

England stood. "I think this game has run its course. Good night, everyone, and happy New Years."

Everyone else in the room stood. America grinned.

"I wonder what'll happen next year?"

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**And we are done! Last story of 2014, huh. That's weird to think about. Not a very good ending, I know…**

**I'm not entirely sure what's next. We'll see what happens, yeah?**

**Translations:**

**Mon cher (French): My dear**

**Japon (French): Japan**

**Happy New Years~!**

**-Bird**


	4. 2015: Valentine's Day

**Valentine's Day  
>Title: Matchmaker<br>Warnings: Matchmaking, swearing  
>Rating: T<br>Pairings: USUK, Frapan/Nihonhonhon  
>Characters: England, America, Japan, France<br>Genre: Romance, Humour**

**I only realised I had to write this twelve days ago. Then I procrastinated for a while. So, it's kinda shit. I apologise.**

**So, Valentine's Day. In which Japan and France play matchmaker, only to find that the people being shipped aren't who they expect…**

**What?! I don't know how Valentine's Day works!**

**In other news: Nihonhonhon. Best ship name ever.**

**Oh, and this takes place in the same universe as New Years. And, while I'm talking, this is part of my little headcanon that Kiku is one of those annoying people who never, ever lies. At least, not exactly. Basically, he doesn't lie, but he's not completely honest either. Like if, say, America had wanted him to tell England something, and he didn't want to, if America asked if he'd talked to England he'd say yes, because he did talk to him; just didn't bring America's question up.**

**Confusing explanation, I know.**

**Disclaimed.**

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It was all France's fault, really. He suggested that they should get America and England to hook up.

Well, Japan didn't have anything better to do. He agreed. And so, all his troubles began.

To start with, England and America had two centuries' worth of UST to get around. That was problem enough on its own, you'd think, but no, they also acted like they hated each other. Even though it was incredibly obvious—to Japan and France, at least—that they wanted to get into each other's pants. Like, _how-have-they-not-noticed-it-they're-practically-undressing-each-other-with-their-eyes_ obvious.

Well, Francis and Kiku were the best people to get them past that. And then Kiku could get more blackmail pictures that Francis would beg off him. Piece of cake. At least, that's what they thought.

It had gotten to the point where Kiku was about to pump them full of aphrodisiacs and lock them in a room together. But he'd refrain; millennia of tea ceremonies, origami, and irritating siblings had instilled almost boundless patience in him.  
><em>Almost<em> boundless.

He had to admit, America and England's refusal to just hook up already was beginning to test his patience. And that was quite a feat, according to most of the world. France was getting rather impatient too. It was getting more than a little… frustrating.

"Ugh!" the blond whined. "Why don't they just make love and be done with it?!"

"Because they somehow haven't noticed the giant hill of UST between them," Japan replied calmly. "We need to get them past that, and they'll handle the rest on their own. Besides, it's Valentine's Day; surely that will count for something?"

"True," France admitted. "But this is taking _forever_!"

"Mm." Kiku pulled out a manga and settled down to read. "This is why you should bring books."

"Who brings books with them when they go out to hook people up?!"

"Me," the Japanese pointed out calmly. "And would you mind keeping it down? We don't want them to notice we're here…"

"Want who to notice you're here?" England frowned at them. Japan shot France a 'this-is-all-your-fault' look. The blond merely shrugged.

"That's for us to know and you to find out."

Japan sighed. "It's nothing, England-san, really. It's just… a thing we're planning. A- A present, if you will. It was supposed to be a surprise, but…" His eyes slid over France, as if to say, 'This is all his fault, not mine.'

England groaned. "Of course. I'll go distract America so he doesn't do something stupid and get in your way." He left without so much as a goodbye.

France raised an eyebrow, impressed. "Not bad."

The other shrugged. "I just never let anyone find out I've lied to them. As far as England-san is concerned, I've never told him a single thing that wasn't the complete truth."

"You've never told him a lie. Ever."

"…Well, I've… _embellished_ a few things…"

France chuckled. "In other words, you've told him things that are technically true, but aren't really."

Japan mock-glared at him. "I prefer embellished."

"Really," the blond said in a tone that made it clear he didn't really believe it.

"It's true!" the smaller nation insisted, not quite pouting. "I don't lie, merely… stretch the truth a little."

France merely shook his head. "Have you ever 'embellished' to me?"

Japan raised a teasing eyebrow. "Well, I wouldn't say that."

The Frenchman sighed. "Come on; we're losing them."

"Hm." The Japanese pocketed his book and brushed his hands together to clear them of imaginary dirt. "You know, you never actually explained how we're going to do this."

"I never really thought about it."

Japan sighed. "Seiyō hito," he muttered, standing gracefully. "You'd better think of something, or we'll have to go with Plan B."

"Eh? What's Plan B?"

"Aphrodisiacs and a locked hotel room," the other replied, humming under his breath and leaving the conference centre. Then he winced and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. "Bright."

"Hm…" France stroked his chin and frowned. "What if we invited them out to dinner?"

"Dinner?" Kiku repeated, glancing over at France over the top of his sunglasses. "And then we go off somewhere and leave them to it?"

The blond nodded. "I was thinking we 'accidentally' reserve two tables for two instead of one table for four. Then the two of us sit together and the two of them sit together…"

Japan pursed his lips. "Are you planning on hitting on me?"

"Well, it's me. It wouldn't be realistic if I didn't."

The other sighed. "I suppose it's fine. But just for today, got it?"

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"Oh…" Japan murmured, shooting England and America an apologetic look. "It seems Francis-san booked two tables for two instead of one for four. You two don't mind sitting separately, do you?"

Kiku was a good actor, Francis mused. Arthur and Alfred had no clue they were being sort-of played. "Je suis très desolè, Angleterre, Ètats-Unis. I don't know what happened."

"Of course you don't," Arthur snorted. "Fine, we'll sit separately. As long as you're fine with being stuck with this wanker, Kiku."

The Japanese glanced over. "I'll manage," he promised, leading France over to their table. "Enjoy your meal."

"As long as this git doesn't eat like a pig," the Brit replied.

"I'm not that bad, dude!" Alfred complained.

"Yes you are," came the unanimous reply.

"Anyways," Francis continued, "mon petite chrysanthème and I will just be over here. Enjoy your meal!" So saying, he led the Japanese over to their table. "Ah, this will work for sure!"

"Hai," Kiku agreed, glancing over the menu and pretending not to notice the way his companion brushed their legs together. "Hm…"

Francis pressed his luck a little too far. The other kicked him. Hard. "Ow! That was completely unnecessary!"

"Don't push it," Japan warned him. He turned to smile at the waitress now standing beside them. "I'll have the salmon, please."

"And I'll have the chicken," France added. "Merci." They handed her their menus and turned as one to see what their friends were doing. Alfred had one hand on top of Arthur's and was saying something either sweet or suggestive, judging by the Brit's blush. Japan grinned, turning back to face Francis.

"This is going far better than I expected it to."

"Agreed. Oh, that is _not_ appropriate behaviour for a restaurant! Get a room, you two!"

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In the end, America and England did in fact get a room, leaving the matchmakers to walk back to the hotel on their own. "This went exceedingly well," Japan decided, yawning. "They've hooked up, our job is done. I had fun, too."

"As did I," Francis replied, leaning down impulsively to peck his friend's cheek. Japan stared at him.

"Wha- You- I-" Oh, right, personal space. Lovely.

"Oh, desolè. I completely forgot-"

Kiku rolled his eyes. "Oh for pity's sake." He reached up, grabbed the blond's collar, pulled him down, and kissed him. Then let go very quickly, blushing. "Ah… Good night."

"Good night," Francis replied, rather dumbstruck.

_Damn._

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**Ugh, it's awful. But I'm done! I only managed to finish this yesterday.**

**Translations:**  
><strong>Seiyō hito (Japanese): Westerners<strong>  
><strong>Je suis très desolè (French): I am very sorry<strong>  
><strong>Angleterre (French): England<strong>  
><strong>Ètats-Unis (French): United States<strong>  
><strong>Mon petite chrysanthème (French): My little chrysanthemum<strong>  
><strong>Merci (French): Thank you<strong>

**Look at all that French! Somehow I don't think this is what my teacher meant when she said French would be useful…**

**Next up: I'm not entirely sure, again. Maybe St. Patrick's Day, but Ireland, I cannot write. Um, April Fool's, maybe?**

**See ya~!**

**-Bird**


End file.
